Communicating with Others
A Sermon on Ephesians 4:29
Originally preached June 29, 1958
Scripture
29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Sermon Description
Why is one’s speech important? What do the words used portray about who one is? In this sermon on Ephesians 4:29 titled “Communicating with Others,” Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones instructs on the importance of speaking in a way that brings honor and glory to God. Speech is one of the primary characteristics that sets people apart from the animals. Thus, it is no surprise that since it is one of the most precious gifts, it is also one of the most misused. Scripture is clear in teaching that people express who they are through the words they use: “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). Paul’s point in this passage is this: one’s speech should be completely different from the speech of those who are not Christians. Their speech is characterized, he says, by excess, an obsession with self, worthlessness, and corruption. Yet Christians are called to proclaim a gospel that is totally opposed to these ideals and their speech should reflect that. Additionally, Paul says, what one says should be characterized by being appropriate for the situation and for those who are present— the goal is to “impart grace to the hearers.” Dr. Lloyd Jones says that the Christian must think of their words and opportunities to bless others. As C.S. Lewis famously said, “we have never met a mere mortal.” Everyone the Christian talks with will spend eternity somewhere, and it is the Christian’s responsibility to lovingly reflect people to Jesus.
Sermon Breakdown
- The apostle Paul is addressing the Ephesians and giving them instructions for living the Christian life.
- In this passage, Paul focuses on speech and communication. He says "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth."
- Corrupt communication is characteristic of pagan society and the ungodly. It is excessive, selfish, coarse, and vulgar.
- As Christians, our speech should not be corrupt. We should have self-control and think of others.
- Paul says we should speak "that which is good to the use of edifying." This means our speech should be good, purposeful, valuable, and build others up.
- Our speech should "fit the occasion" and suit the needs of others. We should assess the situation and speak appropriately.
- The goal of our speech should be to "minister grace to the hearers." We should impart grace and help others in their spiritual walk.
- We should follow the example of Jesus, who knew "how to speak a word in season to him that is weary." We should encourage and help the weary people around us.
- Everything about the Christian life should be different from our old unregenerate life. Our new life in Christ changes how we live, act, and speak.
Sermon Q&A
Dr. Lloyd-Jones' Teaching on Christian Speech: Questions and Answers
What does Ephesians 4:29 teach about Christian speech?
According to Dr. Lloyd-Jones, Ephesians 4:29 provides a comprehensive guideline for Christian speech with three components: a negative injunction ("Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth"), a positive injunction ("but that which is good to the use of edifying"), and an explanation ("that it may minister grace unto the hearers"). This verse teaches that Christians should completely put away corrupt speech while actively pursuing speech that builds others up according to their specific needs.
Why does Dr. Lloyd-Jones believe speech is so important in the Christian life?
Dr. Lloyd-Jones emphasizes that speech is "the distinguishing and differentiating factor in men's life" that separates humans from animals. He states, "The thing that makes men men is this gift of speech and of expression. It's here we see perhaps the image of God in which men was originally created, coming out most clearly." Because speech is humanity's greatest gift, it is also most susceptible to misuse. He notes that Paul repeatedly addresses speech in his instructions to Christians, showing its central importance in Christian living.
What characterizes the speech of non-Christians according to the sermon?
According to Dr. Lloyd-Jones, the speech of non-Christians is characterized by: 1. Excess and lack of control - "The ungodly people talk too much. They talk without thinking." 2. Self-centeredness - "It's just an expression of self... an opportunity for self display." 3. Lack of delicacy - speech that is "corrupt, worthless, ugly, unbecoming" and tends to corrupt others 4. Coarseness and vulgarity - what people often call "adding spice to conversation" 5. Turning serious or tragic matters into jokes for entertainment
How should Christians approach speech differently than non-Christians?
Christians should approach speech with: 1. Control - "A Christian should never be out of control" in conversation 2. Thoughtfulness - there "must always be thought behind Christian speech" 3. Other-centeredness - "The thing that should characterize the speech of the Christian is a concern for other people" 4. Purpose - conversation must be "good" and "edifying" with "some point and some value in it" 5. Appropriateness - speech should "fit the occasion" and be tailored to the specific person and situation
What does it mean that Christian speech should "fit the occasion"?
Dr. Lloyd-Jones explains that speech that "fits the occasion" means speaking appropriately to the specific person and situation. He criticizes Christians who simply "deliver a sermon" or "sermonize" without considering their audience. Instead, Christians should "make an assessment" of the people they're speaking to and provide words appropriate to their spiritual condition and needs. He cites biblical examples: "Cast not your pearls before swine" and Paul's approach of feeding "milk" rather than "meat" to spiritual infants. This requires wisdom, understanding, and patience.
What is the ultimate purpose of Christian speech according to the sermon?
The ultimate purpose of Christian speech is "that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Dr. Lloyd-Jones explains this means remembering that we're speaking to "immortal souls" with eternal destinies. Our speech should impart some form of grace to them - whether by arresting the attention of unbelievers or building up fellow Christians in their faith. He summarizes this purpose with Isaiah's messianic description of having "the tongue of the learned that I may know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary." Christian speech should comfort, encourage, and strengthen others.
How does Dr. Lloyd-Jones connect Christian speech to the image of Christ?
Dr. Lloyd-Jones concludes that proper Christian speech means behaving like Christ himself. He quotes Isaiah's messianic prophecy that the Messiah would have "the tongue of the learned that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary." He reminds believers that Christ came to minister to the weary, and of him it was written: "The bruised reed he will not break, and the smoking flax he will not quench." Christians should imitate Christ by using speech to "succor the weary" and "help the infirm," always administering grace through their words as Christ did.
The Book of Ephesians
Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones
Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981) was a Welsh evangelical minister who preached and taught in the Reformed tradition. His principal ministry was at Westminster Chapel, in central London, from 1939-1968, where he delivered multi-year expositions on books of the bible such as Romans, Ephesians and the Gospel of John. In addition to the MLJ Trust’s collection of 1,600 of these sermons in audio format, most of these great sermon series are available in book form (including a 14 volume collection of the Romans sermons), as are other series such as "Spiritual Depression", "Studies in the Sermon on the Mount" and "Great Biblical Doctrines". He is considered by many evangelical leaders today to be an authority on biblical truth and the sufficiency of Scripture.