What Does Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones Teach About Christian Parenting?

What is the main instruction given to fathers in Ephesians 6:4?

According to Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, the instruction in Ephesians 6:4 is twofold. There is both a negative and positive command: "And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." The negative aspect is to avoid provoking children to wrath (not exasperating them), while the positive command is to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

What does Lloyd-Jones mean by "bring them up" in the context of parenting?

Lloyd-Jones explains that "bring them up" means "to rear them, nourish them to maturity." He emphasizes that this expression conveys parents' responsibility to nurture and prepare children "not only for life, but especially the preparation of the soul for its relationship to God." Parents are given children by God to train and rear them, not to use them for their own desires or gratification.

What is the difference between "nurture" and "admonition" in this passage?

According to Lloyd-Jones, "nurture" is more general than "admonition." He explains that nurture "means the whole process in general, of the cultivation of the mind and of morals. It's the totality of nurturing, rearing, bringing up the child." Its emphasis is upon acts and general discipline. In contrast, "admonition" refers more specifically to words spoken to the child—"words of exhortation, words of encouragement, words of reproof, words of blame."

What makes Christian parenting distinct from non-Christian parenting?

Lloyd-Jones emphasizes that Christian parenting is distinguished by bringing up children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." This means the object and goal "should always be in the forefront of the minds of Christian parents, should be that the children should be brought up in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ." While non-Christian parents might teach general morality or good manners, Christian parents have the "supreme task" of helping their children "come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as their savior and as their Lord."

According to Lloyd-Jones, who has primary responsibility for the spiritual nurture of children?

Lloyd-Jones strongly emphasizes that bringing up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord "is something which is to be done in the home and by the parents." He states this is "their primary duty" and "their most essential duty." Parents should not hand over this responsibility to schools or others. He notes that in the Old Testament, "the father was a kind of priest in his household and in his family" with responsibility for the moral and spiritual instruction of his children.

What are some wrong ways to bring up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?

Lloyd-Jones identifies several incorrect approaches: 1. Never do it mechanically or "by numbers" like a drill 2. Never do it in an entirely negative or repressive manner 3. Never raise children in a way that makes them "little prigs and hypocrites" 4. Never force a child to a decision or put undue pressure on them 5. Never be too direct or too emotional in spiritual matters

What are the proper ways to bring up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?

Lloyd-Jones provides several positive approaches: 1. Create an atmosphere where "Christ is the head of this house" 2. Model Christian living through your general conduct and example 3. Create an atmosphere of love in the home 4. Engage in general conversation that incorporates the Christian perspective 5. Thoughtfully answer children's questions when they arise 6. Guide their reading (especially biographies) 7. Practice family prayer, including thanking God at meals 8. Maintain a "family altar" with daily Bible reading and prayer 9. Make Christianity attractive so children desire it for themselves

Why does Lloyd-Jones caution against boarding schools for Christian families?

Lloyd-Jones questions whether sending children to boarding schools aligns with biblical teaching about parental responsibility. He states that the home is "the chiefest influence upon their lives" and wonders if it's right "to send your children away from the peculiar special influences of the home to somewhere else." He emphasizes that the "child's soul should always be the primary consideration" and that "anything that militates against a child's soul and its knowledge of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ should be rejected."

What specific challenge do Christian parents face in modern society?

Lloyd-Jones explains that Christian parents today "have a greater task than you've ever had" because of competing influences. He specifically mentions: "Evolution is being taught them as a fact," "Higher criticism of the Bible is being taught," and children hear anti-God, anti-Bible, anti-Christian messages through media. He says parents must counter these influences, making it "a whole time job, almost at the present time" because "the forces against us are so great."

How can parents make Christianity attractive to their children?

Lloyd-Jones concludes that parents should "make Christianity attractive" by giving "children the impression that the most wonderful thing in the world is Christianity, and that there is nothing in life comparable to being a Christian." Children should see the joy, wonder, and thrill their parents experience in faith, creating in them "the desire to be like us." The goal is that children would say, "I'm longing to be as old as they are so that I can get in it what they're getting and enjoy it as they enjoy it."